Kavin was going through some things at the time so we talked to the boys’ pediatrician and he referred us to a psychiatrist. They tested him and found out he was ADHD combined-type (hyperactivity and impulsivity). They also believed he had Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), so it was Ritalin and Depakote. Our insurance at the time made us start with Ritalin but eventually we found that Vyvanse helped the most.

As a side note, my therapist and I were just talking about this topic on Tuesday and we don’t think Kavin had ODD, he was simply reacting to what was going on around him in the only way he knew how.

Anywho, we removed candy from Kavin’s diet, only a piece as a reward for something. However, his “father” took the candy to the extreme. He would buy Kavin and Logan bags of candy and let them eat it all day long, knowing it would negatively affect Kavin and his meds. No doubt, using the sugared up kids to get back at me for something. Pretty pathetic! So I would let the sugar rush wear off and they would inevitably crash and be sound asleep.

One day, when he had the boys outside of court ordered time, he had family in from out of state, I had allowed him to take the boys for the day. He ended up taking them and a niece of his out to the park. Everything appeared fine. After awhile he called me and was slurring his words and asked if the boys could spend the night with their cousin. I tried to find out where they were but he wouldn’t tell me. I desperately needed the boys home and safe but going to get them ourselves was out of the question because he wouldn’t tell us where he was. So, I lied, and said, “Yes, they can stay the night but they had to get their clothes and Kavin’s medicine” (this was before he stole some). So he drove the kids to the house.

Now, at the time, Aaron was as sick as he could be and I was pregnant with Micah. So I sat on the porch waiting for him to pull up. I know something wasn’t right but I didn’t know if it was drugs or alcohol. It didn’t really matter what it was though because I had no intention of letting them go back with him

So Aaron is at the door and lets the boys in the house then immediately shuts it and stands there. My mom and I are outside of the porch letting him know that we know there is something wrong with him and he will not be taking the boys with him. In his intoxicated state, he tried walking into our house multiple times which Aaron was absolutely not having.

Needless to say, he left with his niece that day and went home. I regretted not calling the police that day since he also had his niece with him. That evening he received his second DUI and had to serve time in jail.

After the second DUI, I took him back to court about visitation. I did all of this on my own without a lawyer. In the complaint I filed, I stated that I believed he was a danger to the boys and that he could not be trusted. I had been keeping a list of dates and incidents which I included.

The court appointed a guardian ad litem for the boys and she went to the boys’ school and each one of our homes. It was suggested by her that he have supervised visitation either by his mom or new wife. (Yes, he ended up getting married AGAIN, the day he got out of jail for his second DUI, which also happened to be… Logan’s birthday.) When he came over to see the kids, all he talked about was getting married and such. Never said Happy Birthday to Logan or anything.

The judge agreed with the guardian ad litem. No longer did the boys have to spend the night at his house. Every other Saturday for 9 AM- 5 PM, as long as his mom or wife was around, he would be able to see the boys.

Usually, it was his wife that supervised. The last time I ever dealt with his mother was on a Saturday (when he couldn’t drive because of his DUIs and he was sleeping instead of picking up the boys, no doubt from some kind of bender). She came to pick the boys up, which I allowed. While waiting for the boys to put their shoes on, she proceeded to tell me everything that had happened, including his two DUIs, was my fault, not her son’s. That was the last time she ever picked up the boys. I gave her what for that day and told her that if she wanted to see the boys she could take me to court for grandparent visitation (which is only a weekend a month or so). Needless to say she never did that and the last time they saw her was when the boys were about eight and seven, and then she didn’t want to have anything to do with them.

The boys begged and begged their “father” to let Aaron adopt them but he refused. To this day when they are talking to someone they’ll say “My dad” talking about Aaron. That’s the only stable male figure they knew from such a young age and I’m so thankful that they have him.