I was in my therapist’s office having a session recently when I realized that it was so easy for me to remember the bad/negative stuff and hard to pick out the good times. I asked why that was, but in the same breath I said “I’m going to research that because it would make a great blog post.” So here we are!
The answer to this is negativity bias, but it’s not as simple as giving it a name. I really wanted to understand more.
During the Caveman times, focusing on bad, dangerous, and negative threats were a matter of life and death. It made them more likely to survive, instead of getting eaten by the big cats, and they assed this gene down to their offspring. Hence, how we end up with the “fight or flight” response.
Focusing on the negative is a way for our brain the keep us safe and it starts in infancy. Focusing on the negative is so ingrained into us as such an early age, no wonder it continues into adulthood for most people, especially those with anxiety.
According to iheathunifiedcare.com, negative experiences trigger a stronger emotional response and are more likely to be stored in our memory.
Say, for instance, someone says something hurtful to you on a girl’s night out. When you get home, your partner asks “How was your night?” You say terrible even though nothing else bad happened. You are focusing on the negative comment made and not the fun times that were had throughout the night.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely stewed over negative events/emotions before. And, if I’m being even more honest, it got me absolutely nowhere except for as mad as a wet hornet. And who really wants that, am I right?
The best way I’ve found to combat this is a gratitude list. Just pull out your notebook and pen and start listing. It can be hard at times, but it’s so important and necessary to focus on those positive things whether big or small.
Niki’s Path to Peace 
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