The week before last I started getting a cold, AGAIN, after having one two weeks before. I thought it was totally unfair that I got sick again, and I was miserable! And I’m not a good sick person.

I hate soups!

I hate being hot!

I hate being cold!

I HATE BEING SICK!

And I tend to cry randomly when I’m sick because I just hate it all.

And, in the midst of being sick, my anxiety spiked. Yay me!

January 29th was my eighth Spravato treatment, the last of the twice a week treatments. But I didn’t want to leave the house because of my anxiety. I was so sure I was going to end up vomiting during my session, even though I’d had nothing to eat and just enough to drink to get my meds down, as usual on treatment days.

I thoughts for sure my blood pressure would spike and I’d have to be take to the hospital. All the things that could go wrong were going to go wrong as far as I was concerned.

But I did some deep breathing, got in the car, and showed up for my appointment. There I was in my treatment and nothing was going wrong. At least not anything I thought would go wrong did except…

At the end of my session, my RN informed me that our insurance had denied my once a week treatments. Like that makes any sense! Right?! Approve the twice a week treatments but not the once a week. *insert face palm*

So then my psychiatrist, who I had seen the day before, and who was thrilled with my progress, had to get on the phone and do some bureaucratic bullshit (pardon my language) so that I would be able to continue having my treatments once a week. How crazy is that?

When did the health of a patient start to hang in the balance because of insurance? People making decisions about your health not knowing you, how you have been, and what progress you’re making on the medicine you’re taking. I know! When the drug companies were allowed to charge whatever the hell they want for life-saving (and I do mean this) meds. Insurance companies just don’t want to pay the prices. And, let’s be real, most of us can’t afford the prices ourselves. It’s sickening!

And I know this doesn’t just happen in the mental health sector either. It’s…

• cancer treatments that aren’t fully covered by insurance
• shots for those who are anaphylactic
• and more

We run ourselves in debt to stay alive, yet we cry when people commit suicide because they just can’t handle it all anymore. Crazy isn’t it? Thinking about all the people you know that this actually affects, huh?

So, after my psychiatrist and RN rallied for me with insurance, they approved the once a week round of treatments. Thank goodness!

This time there are 3 nasal sprays, instead of two. A higher dose that has really left me feeling like I’m melting big time.

I’m really grateful for the opportunity to take Spravato. It has made such a difference in my depression. I feel it and my family sees it. There’s not much better than being able to feel happy and hopeful!